For Rathbone, I make a point of focusing on New Orleans or the Deep South when I choose a topic.  However, when I came across a fascinating article in National Geographic magazine, January 2020, titled “The Science of Annoyance” I decided that this was definitely a UNIVERSAL issue. 

Whether one lives on the East or West coast – up North or down South there are certain things in day-to-day living that drive people crazy. This particular piece, which is cleverly written by Joe Palca, starts out this way.

“Picture yourself at a crowded airport departure gate. (I’ll bet you’re already interested.) Your flight is 20 minutes late, although the illuminated sign still says ON TIME. The woman on your left is noisily eating something that smells awful.” (Yes, I recently saw a female eating a plate of chicken nuggets on the subway. Gross.)

“The overhead TV is tuned to a celebrity gossip program that includes a relentless stream of Bieber, Gwyneth and Miley. This lineup is topped by the Kardashians. No wait. It gets better. The man on your right is braying into his cell phone and the one on the left? My God, is that a toenail clipper?” 

UNLESS YOU ARE SAINTLY OR UNCONSCIOUS there are a few – or many things in the above – that are really going to bug you. (I’d be bugged by all of them.) Let’s take a look: (#1) What makes something annoying? (#2) Are some things universally annoying or specific to an individual? (#3) Is there any advice for preventing life’s annoyances from making one’s head feel as if it’s going to explode. THE ANSWERS ARE: (#1) We don’t know, (#2) We don’t know and (#3) No.  

ANNOYANCE MAY BE THE MOST WIDELY EXPERIENCED and least studied of all human emotions. Ten years ago, Palca wrote a book titled “Annoying: The Science of What Bugs Us” and noticed the lack of studies on this topic. Have any scholars stepped up to the plate? No. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.  

HAS THE PROLIFERATION OF THINGS THAT ANNOY US slowed down? No, quite the opposite: social media is now in every sphere of our existence. This includes Twitter (which is everywhere), the unwelcome bounty of robocalls, the invasive assault of personalized and pop-up ads, plus selfie sticks and typing symbols to prove you’re not a robot.

WHAT ARE THE THREE ELEMENTS THAT MAKE something annoying? They are: (#1) It must be noxious without being physically harmful, for example a housefly buzzing around your head is annoying, but it won’t kill you, (#2) It must be unpredictable and intermittent, e.g., the loud ticking of a clock or if you know you’re going to be stuck in traffic you might be able to take it in stride BUT when it’s unexpected, it gets to you before you can stop yourself, (#3) To be truly annoying, something has to persist for an uncertain amount of time, e.g., a flight that is delayed and delayed and delayed with no end in sight is excruciatingly annoying. 

AN INTRIGUING THING ABOUT ANNOYANCES IS HOW they change over time. In the past, cell phone conversations seemed annoying only to people not on the phone. Today, the call recipient seems to be getting annoyed because the thinking seems to be: “Why call when a text will do?” Or, “you should have texted to ask if you could call.” Absurd!

THE MOST ANNOYING NOISES ARE: barking dogs, leaf blowers, car alarms and knuckles cracking while ANNOYING PEOPLE are telemarketers who don’t stop at the first “no.”

Finally, this article ends with a half-finished sentence and an EDITOR’S NOTE that says, “The contract for this article set a strict word limit. The writer exceeded the limit; the magazine feels obliged to enforce it. We regret any annoyance this might cause.” Hilarious. They also add a description of Joe Palca, a science correspondent, as “his ability to annoy others is legendary” – a fun piece from start to finish. 

Shaun Nelson-Henrick